To be strong and agile, flexible and free has been a driving force within me since I was a little kid. I always felt pure joy when stretching my limbs to climb a tree, skipping nimbly from stone to stone in a stream, swimming against the powerful current of a torrent, pushing my muscles to their limits in a strenuous workout or letting them flow freely with the rhythms of music.
So when my body started to falter almost a decade ago and it finally dawned on me two years later that it was not because I was simply out of shape, I sought the advice of a sports medicine specialist. And since that day, my life’s path has swerved dramatically.
Seven neurologists, three muscle biopsies, and numerous blood tests later (for PROMM, FSHD, FKRP, AMD, BMD, LGMD 2B and 2A…the list goes on), and we still don’t know what exactly is causing the progressive weakening of my muscles.
When people find out that years later I still don’t have a specific diagnosis, they often jump to the conclusion that it must be terribly frustrating for me. But it isn’t. None of the conditions I mentioned above can be conventionally treated. And even if I believe that anything can be cured (no matter what the doctors say), it’s a lot easier to nurture my hopes of healing when I remain afflicted with an ailment that is unidentified, with no bleak case histories or a discouraging prognosis to read about.
Instead of getting frustrated, I’ve come up with my own reassuring and uplifting theories to explain what’s happening:
- I’ve been a worrywart for a big part of my life and as a result I’ve attracted a worrying condition (based on the law of attraction as discussed in many books including The Secret and the Abraham-Hicks series.) Now that I’ve stopped worrying so much, I’ll smooth-sail my way through life.
- Just like the hot/cold game (as you get closer to the target it gets hotter), I was getting a little far from my life’s purpose, and this condition has put me back on track. As I get closer, wellbeing is starting to flow again. (So I won’t be a great salsa dancer, but maybe life has something else in store for me.)
- I chose to come into this life under this set of circumstances because there were lessons to learn with this particular challenge, and also because the people close to me would benefit from my experiences.
And the positive lessons have been plentiful:
- Don’t worry, be happy. Really!
- Don’t worry about what others think, just be. (A tough one for me – still working on not feeling self-conscious about my awkward body, and getting better at it every day!)
- By acting consciously (and not reacting impulsively or automatically) to a situation, we have the ability to bring about desirable outcomes. (One I’ve needed a lot of practice with. Maybe that’s why I was thrown into the teaching profession.)
- Be open to the advice and opinions of others, but ultimately make up your own mind about things. (So doctors, I appreciate your thoughts, but one day you just might be stunned when I waltz into your office, all strong and stable, and perfectly healed! And Mr T., you’re a very kind person, but I really don’t think what you preach is the only way…there are many ways to enlightenment and healing.)
- Focus on the good stuff, and more good stuff will come your way. (Enjoying the sunny drive to a meeting the other day despite being late and slowed down by traffic paid off – the person leading the meeting was even later!)
- Be grateful for all the wonderful things in this life. (And I have so much to be grateful for—a loving family, supportive friends, a cozy home, a rewarding job, a peaceful country, friendly people wherever I go, safe falls, and the root of my front tooth has grown back!!
) - It’s ok to ask strangers for help and it’s even better if you can offer help to someone else. (Thanks to all those people who have been kind enough to hold doors open for me or lend me their arm, or pick up my fallen keys! I look forward to the day when I can return the favour.)
- A down moment is just that – a short moment in time. (I still get them, but they always pass.)
- A seemingly negative circumstance might actually prove to be a positive one in the future. (When I was running a little late the other day, I met the kindest and cutest old man. I wouldn’t have met him had my morning routine gone smoothly and had I entered the elevator a little earlier. And it’s a good thing we crossed paths, because that very day, a yellow pipe on the ground between my building and my car was creating a bit of an obstacle, and here was this jovial man, eager and happy to help!)
- A negative situation can be turned around. (I was alone at home when I fell not too long ago, and I broke a blue bowl in the process…it was scary and emotional, but in the end, I got a great workout trying to get myself up! I also appreciated the opportunity to sit on the floor, which I rarely have the chance to do these days. And the shards of blue glass scattered on the reddish planks were quite lovely to look at. After struggling for almost an hour, I wasn’t able to get myself up; but I did manage to call my good friend K. who came to help me. The evening started with panic and tears, but it ended with good conversation, hearty laughs, and apple pie.)
- Having faith that everything will be just fine and wonderful leads to everything being just fine and wonderful. (When I really feel this, things do magically work out.)
Pretty obvious lessons, I know. But it’s applying them day after day, challenge after challenge, mishap after mishap that has been the true test. I’ve made some progress, but I have a long way to go too!
Do you have any life lessons to share?
